Monday, 7 July 2014

Quiet Time

Nowadays, quiet time is the only time during the day that I have to myself, 100%. Ironically, I can have quiet time whenever I like to - when I take out my cochlear implant processor. Sounds are turned off in an instant. The hustle and bustle of noise becomes pure silence. However idyllic that sounds, it isn't quite so. My brain doesn't really stop working, and sometimes I think I still hear sounds without the help of my hearing devices! (or, I have a really active imagination).

An artist's depiction of what my Cochlear Implant looks like (oddly enough, I don't have many photos of me with my CI... I'll have to search for some!)

No. Quiet time is really when Rachel is asleep. I classify quiet time as time to do whatever it is that needs to be done around the house, or a time to just sit back, and pray. Prayer is a huge part of my life. I normally don't share my religious experiences, simply because I'm extremely private about it in particular. A close friend once called me a mystic, meaning I have a deep, inherent relationship with Christ that cannot be measured by our worldly standards. In this quiet time, no matter how short or how long I have, I manage to have at least a few minutes of conversation with Christ (either through talking, the bible, or just simply saying the rosary) - in a sense, I am transported to a dimension where my hearing loss doesn't become a barrier for communication. There are days when I'm just so exhausted from listening out for Rachel's cries, trying to figure out what she wants, and the occasional nights where she 'yelps' while dreaming. My vibrating alarm connected to our Foscam camera (which is connected to our Wi-Fi system) will wake me up with a jolt. Sometimes it sends me into panic mode, and it can be tough to go back to sleep if it's just a false alarm.
The Foscam Camera we use to help wake us up when Rachel is crying

Just yesterday, we were at Mass. Rachel is usually pretty good during services, although there are times when she's teething that she'll start fussing a little bit (after all, she is a baby...). Anyway, yesterday was a significant day for me -  especially the reading from Romans 8:9 (11-13):

9 You, however, live not by your natural inclinations, but by the Spirit, since the Spirit of God has made a home in you. Indeed, anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.

I took away from this a wonderful message, that in us Jesus dwells, and that we are made to conduct our lives in his image. Simple, but true. As a hard of hearing person, mommy, and wife, I *wait for it....* realized for the first time that my identities were a result of Christ's spirit working through me. It was not by choice that I was hard of hearing, and being mommy was a gift given to me by God! We all have our own talents and gifts to contribute, and I accepted my role as being a hard of hearing mommy/wife! What a wonderful, simple epiphany and I reveled in joy in receiving Christ in the Eucharist to wholeheartedly renew my love for Him!
Hard of hearing, Mommy, Wife. The Eucharist says it all.

I could go on and on about how wonderful it is to be Catholic, one of my favorite books that might best describe my journey to the Catholic Church would be Rome Sweet Home, by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. The first time I read their book, I was what some might call a 'Cafeteria' Catholic, but after much thinking and prayer, I no longer hold that title - and even considered becoming a nun (but meeting my husband changed all that!).

Rome Sweet Home, a must read!
A special day in our lives, my vocational calling to be a wife.

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