Monday, 19 January 2015

The Spider Meltdown - How HOHs have an intense conversation without making sound

For those that don't personally know me, I am an arachnophobic. While losing more hearing or my baby girl are listed among my fears, the S thing really gives me the heebie jeebies.


The S word scares me. Even the thought of seeing one (dead or alive) or the sensation of one crawling on my skin leaves me absolutely petrified. I shall refer to it as "the thing".

My face as I imagine it probably looks like when it sees "the thing"!

Well, a few nights ago I had meltdown that occurred at 10:15pm. Just as my husband and I were retiring to bed, I discovered a HUGE thing (according to Curtis, the thing was medium sized). Nevertheless, it was bigger than I'd like it to be. Fortunately Curtis killed the thing for me, and unfortunately for me, he disposed the remains of the thing in the garbage bin. The garbage bin is RIGHT beside the toilet and I just CANNOT go to bed knowing that there's a thing in my house that hasn't been flushed. 

My general rule: flush it and it's OUT of the house. (sometimes the below picture applies to me)
That's me (sometimes). Photo credit to

Naturally, Curtis told me to go and dispose of it in the toilet, as he had already squashed it. The sad truth is, I can't even pick up the kleenex which held the thing's remains. Heck, I could even see the remains. I just don't want to TOUCH it.

This is how I begged my husband to do me this HUGE favor: (and keep in mind that we're both lipreading each other as our daughter sleeps next door - any sound would wake her up - cue words being mouthed)

Me: Can you PLLEEEEEEEEASE flush it down the toilet????
C: No, why can't you just do it?
Me: I can't!!!!!
C: It's dead already! What's the deal?!
Me: I just can't! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE! (and I immediately put on my biggest, saddest, poutiest face)
C: Suck it up and do it! (and he's laughing at this point)
Me: But, please! Please! Please! I'm asking very politely!
C: You're not being rational.
Me: PLEEEEEEEEEAAAAASE! (and then I proceed to tapping his shoulder incessantly)
C: This is annoying. Just do it!
Me: PLEAAAAAASE!! I just can't go to the bathroom at night if it's THERE.
C: But it's dead! Look just go and give it a try.

***I go to the bathroom and stand in the doorway, hyperventilating (this is NOT a joke)***

After a few seconds of hyperventilating, Curtis finally gets out of bed and does the aforementioned deed I had been begging him to do.

Shortly after that, I calmed down, and told him that this fear wasn't a joke. It's very real, and it's not easy. I've worked my way up to squishing 'things'. Because I'm at home more than he is, I have learned to squish the 'littler' things and do it more now with grace. 

That, my dear is how people with hearing loss have an intense conversation when they need to have zero sound. We'd make excellent mimes - because I'm pretty sure that's what the whole scene must have looked like to a hearing person!

Our backup career? (in case you don't know, this is Charlie Chaplin, a famous mime)

1 comment:

  1. I hate spiders, but I'm the bug-squisher in our house because my husband (though he'd never admit it) likes them even less. If he sees a bug, he hollers for me. My mom used to squish things and ants with her toe... I prefer to grab whatever is handy for squishing it with. :)