The Christmas Rush

Christmastime is a favorite time of the year for me! Sometimes I get carried away with baking goodies, shopping, decorating and wrapping gifts. This year I actually got all my work done before December 1st so that we'd be able to enjoy the whole month of December in peace!

I'd like to mention that this year is our first Christmas at home. We've waited all year for this, planning out our visits to the mainland so that we'd be able to start our own family traditions. Aside from the numerous hors d'oeuvres that I've planned out in excitement, we've also set up our tree with full trimmings this year. Last year we didn't bother putting the tree up as we were out of town. The year before, we had a newborn and we were much too exhausted to fully decorate it. Also, our home actually has more lights on it than ever before. We were so excited to start the Christmas celebrations that we were the first house on the block to light up our lights!  I am so looking forward to cuddling in bed with our little girl on Christmas morning (and seeing her open presents!).

A bit blurry, but a beautiful sight!

More importantly, we've set up our Nativity scene on our mantle. Now that our little girl is old enough to understand the meaning of Christmas (we've just told her it's Jesus' birthday), it makes this year's Christmas even more special! I'm definitely looking forward to starting up our tradition of singing Happy Birthday Jesus (I promised her we could do that).

The Christmas rush as the media puts it is focused on consumerism, I believe. There's nothing wrong with wanting to buy things for your loved ones, but in our case for our daughter, we plan to spend time with her. She'll get a few gifts from us, mostly books, but my hope is that she remembers this Christmas as a time when mommy and daddy took real time out to focus on family, faith and love. For the last few weeks, I've tried singing as many Christmas songs to her that I know of. Fortunately my off-key voice (don't blame my voice! I blame my hearing loss for that one!) hasn't put her off... yet. The Hard of Hearing Mommy Wishes you all a Blessed Early Christmas!

What are your priorities this year for Christmas? 



 

The Value of Community

You guessed it. I took some time out to refocus, which is why this blog hasn't seen much activity for a while. We all need time to refocus and figure out what the heck it is that we're doing sometimes! I'm back now, for real.

Over the last several weeks, I've gone for 15 information interviews (that left a big dent in my wallet... all those coffee dates!) and met a vast number of people here in Victoria. A good friend of mine who is a social worker (and also has a hearing loss herself) told me that information interviews were the best way to meet new people, and tap into the hidden job market. Job hunt aside, I've really enjoyed getting out and meeting new people. We've been on the Island for three years and in the last few weeks, I've made more connections than the entire time we've been here. 

Who doesn't love coffee?? Mmmmm

It hit me like an anvil on the coyote's head: creating a community doesn't start by just going out to events, it also means creating meaningful connections with others who share the same interests, concerns and ideas as you do. It means reaching out to others beyond your comfort zone. I feel more at home now that I've found my way through the Victoria population. Believe it or not, pretty much everyone here knows someone that you know! It's like living in the twilight zone. Growing up in a Vancouver suburb, it was incredibly rare to meet someone that knew someone within your circle of friends. I guess that's what happens when you live in a smaller city!

Daddy is sexy!

Yesterday, out of the mouths of my little girl came the words:

Daddy is sexy!

Wow. This is going to be an embarrassing post for her father/my husband. (Psst: I just confirmed it with him, he doesn't even read my posts!)

Her statement couldn't be more true. Even though this blog focuses on what it's like to be a hard of hearing mommy, I couldn't be a hard of hearing mommy without the hard of hearing daddy. Truly, the family is where it all starts.  Regardless if you are hard of hearing or facing some other extraordinary circumstance. Having a hearing loss means that we actually understand each other better without having to say anything about it.

Last week the World Meeting of Families Congress took place in Philadelphia, PA, which is "held every three years and sponsored by the Holy See's Pontifical Council for the Family" (Source: World Meeting of Families). The theme for this event, one of the world's largest Catholic gathering of families was titled Love is Our Mission: The Family Fully Alive.  I am fortunate for the love that flows through our family, which began with the two of us in marriage.

What a hard of hearing house looks like

Last week's post was about one student's inaccessibility within the educational environment. In spite of the outrage and shock, I thought to myself: hey, my home is pretty hard of hearing accessible! There is always room for improvement, but in our case this works for us.

Visibility, for the hard of hearing person is probably the most important feature of any house. Especially if one has a child. I know that if I can't see my daughter, I don't know if she's up to no good, is in trouble, or just simply gone to a corner to poop in peace. It's the quiet moments that do scare me the most! We do hope to take down the 'fake' wall separating the kitchen from the living room and create an open concept floor plan. Just need to save up for that... my guess is $50K or more, but if we can somehow figure out how to do it ourselves, then we'd save ourselves a chunk of money.

This is one reason why we chose this house. I could be in the kitchen and watching my girl play.

 

Do you use a cell phone?

A shot from one of SFU's lecture halls (Photo from Flickr) - this is scary for a hard of hearing student!

For those of you who answered the title question with a resounding 'YES!', then this might be an interesting article in relation to the use of technology in contemporary Canada.

Ah yes. In the last 48 hours or so, the hard of hearing community has felt a wave of shock and outrage. From Newfoundland and Labrador, to beautiful Vancouver Island (where I live), the impact of ONE teacher not willing to use an FM system. (and I bet you this teacher uses a cell phone, but more on that later)

My Hard of Hearing Teachers - Part 3

Since this week was the first week of school for many school-aged kids, I finally heard back from the last teacher I contacted. She has asked to remain anonymous, so I will refer to her as "the special teacher".  She is special because she was my first and last hard of hearing teacher! Long story short, my first interaction with her was when I was 6 months old, when she came to my parents place to help jump start my speech and language skills.  Later, I had her again for preschool - some of my best memories are in her class! Finally, she was with me until the very end of my high school years. What a story to conclude this mini saga of My Hard of Hearing Teachers Parts 1, 2 and now 3!

On having a strong willed child

This week has been a challenging one in parenting. While it comes as no surprise that my girl is strong willed, my dad sent me the below photo to help calm me down.

Photo from Free Range Learning

My Hard of Hearing Teachers: Part 2

Last week, I introduced you to one of my former Hard of Hearing Teachers, Annabelle Cutting. She gave a pretty awesome overview of my first year at the Vancouver Oral Centre, when I was 3-years old. Fast forward two years, (at this point, I'm 5 years and probably full of mischief), the foundation has been set, and I'm on the cusp of being mainstreamed into the regular school system.

Next, I'd like to introduce you to Cindi Augustine. Cindi actually has a Childcare Worker degree (not specifically designated as a teacher of the deaf), and I remember seeing her as a bubbly, vibrant person who always had a huge grin on her face!

Even though I was only in her class for one short year, we still keep in touch via email and Facebook. Here is her write up:

My Hard of Hearing Teachers: Part 1

For the next couple of posts, I will be providing some valuable insight(s) from my former teachers of the deaf (as they are titled). From six months to 18 years old, I was provided guidance by the Vancouver Oral Centre (VOC) School for the Deaf, now re-named the Children's Speech and Hearing Centre of BC. 

With their permission, they answered a few questions that I thought would be helpful to parents with children going through a similar program, students currently in the itinerant program, or to the general public wanting to understand more about the tough work behind the scenes in helping a hard of hearing child learn to speak, listen and understand sound.

The first teacher I'd like to introduce you to is Annabelle Cutting, who was one of my first 'in-class' teachers (I started my formal schooling education at the age of 3!). She continues to remain a close family friend nearly 20 years later.

The Radio is Blaring!!!

If you're a HOH, you'll probably cringe at this story.
If you're a 'hearing person' who lives, or has lived with a HOH, this may sound familiar.

Disclaimer: This is a true story. It happened to us in September 2013, when I was 7 months pregnant and starting to really have trouble sleeping at night.

Imagine someone screaming (or maybe just mouthing) in the dead of the night to you  saying the following words: "THE RADIO IS BLARING!!! THE RADIO IS BLARING!!!". You might think that this person was crazy. That was my first thought. That person - my sister in law (SIL) - was going postal for a very good reason, as my bedside table clock/alarm/radio was indeed blaring away.

How to Score Free Movie Tickets (kind of)!

This is an exciting post for me to share with you all, how to score free movie tickets - sort of. If you're hard of hearing, d/Deaf or late-deafened, you've probably heard of CaptiView. In most, though not all, movie theaters across North America, people with a hearing loss make use of the CaptiView technology to watch movies just like anyone else. Heck, we like cinema popcorn and big loud booming sounds too! (and besides, I like having some adult time after spending all day with a toddler)

On turning 30...

Well, well this is it. The fifth actual draft I put together for this post. Dagnabbit, this was harder than I expected it to be. It is going to be a bittersweet write up.

Suffice to say, my dirty thirties arrived a few days ago.

Goodbye 20's. It was an incredible ride. I started out my 20s not really knowing myself. I can't truly say I know who I AM, but let's just say that I've learned a few lessons along the way. Let me paint a general picture for you, as the hard of hearing girl who eventually became the hard of hearing mommy. (attention parents of hard of hearing children: your kids will turn out just FINE).

How to Succeed in Exercising (the Hard of Hearing Mommy way)

This piece is inspired by a paragraph in the book The Way I Hear It. Since February of this year, Curtis and I have been committed to changing some habits. Keep in mind that we aren't fitness experts, but this is what we've been doing for the last few months. These include re-evaluating our non-existent exercise regime, our eating patterns, and most importantly, our priorities.

Health is our first priority.
Looking unbelievably awesome is a bonus.

We choose to focus on health because we don't want our daughter to think we're perpetual couch potatoes. Right now is a time when she needs us to be the most active, physically engaging with her on bike rides to a simple runaround in the neighborhood. We still have our couch nights, just not for 4 hours every night. Maybe 2 hours is more like it.

My Mommy's Ears Don't Work

An imaginary poem - what my little girl might be thinking of me. In recent days she's been looking at my ears and actually saying "Hearing Aid" (I can't quite get her to say cochlear implant just yet, even though she knows what it is). I think, at 19 months she finally gets it that my ears just don't work.

Behind the Book: An Interview with Gael Hannan

Last September, I wrote a blog post on Gael Hannan as the 'original' hard of hearing mommy writer. Since then, she has written her book, The Way I Hear It and I thought it would be appropriate to do a behind the book interview with her - even though we've known each other since 2008 when I first met her at the CHHA/IFHOH Congress, and have seen each other intermittently through the years.

It's not COCH (K)-lear, it's CO-chlear

Honestly, I get this ALL the time. It's a bit of an inside joke between my husband and a mutual friend of ours (who is also a cochlear implant user), however I do feel compelled to write a opinion-piece about the pronunciation of cochlear.

A great example of pronunciation variations! Photo credit: Wikipedia

Before you decide to debate with me, let me make it clear - both pronunciations, COCH(K)-lear (think of Heather Locklear as an example) and CO-chlear are both technically correct. In my case, it's a matter of preference, and comfort in saying it.

The Way I Hear It

I am in love with this book. I will extol it from here to eternity.

The Way I Hear It, humorously composed by the very talented Gael Hannan (who actually contributed to this blog too!) accurately describes my life on a daily basis, living and managing a hearing loss. Anyone who has come into contact with a friend, family member or a stranger with a hearing loss should read this book, including those who have a hearing loss. From dealing with daily internal stress that comes with hearing loss to the impact on relationships, this book explains it all.

 

Love Rebel: Reclaiming Motherhood

I'm very excited to announce that Love Rebel: Reclaiming Motherhood has finished its editing phase! We're now onto publishing and will be at a bookstore near you. So far, we've received some pretty amazing reviews from professional editors, mothers and publishers.

The cover!

In a split second

Last week Sunday, I experienced something that I hope I'll never experience again. I thought my baby girl died. The minute the thought that my baby girl was gone made my heart fall into a bottomless pit. I pray no parent will encounter this awful feeling.

The day before: we went to Victoria's Highland Games. What a difference a split second can make!

Rewind 20 minutes: our girl had just woken up from a lovely 2 and a half hour nap. She had been fighting a fever for the last few days, and on this particular afternoon, she was smiling and giggling. Something we had not really seen for a few days - and playing peekaboo allowed us to hear her hearty laugh. What a relief! We wanted to take advantage of the glorious weather we were having, and decided to take a family walk.

Five minutes later - all chaos ensued. My little girl started crying in her stroller and promptly started seizing, I carried her home. Upon inspection, her lips turned blue - and so was the rest of her body.


What was going on? What were we supposed to do? What's happening?

Que Sera Sera: What will be will be

Happy belated mothers day to all the lovely mothers, caregivers, aunts, and women of this world who live, breathe and love children.  

Ok, time to cue reality. Motherhood can be a challenge, depending on how you look at it. It's not always as rosy as my opening line - especially with so many things on the go. Rest assured, I haven't forgotten about this blog... It's, like I said, been busy. I think all moms understand that it's so easy for the days to go by without realizing that a month has actually passed. A month.


We've had lots going on here. Let me make a quick list:
-The job hunt: this includes spending hours in front of the computer, going out to networking events, exams, and interviews. I've had a total of 2 interviews, 5 one on one network sessions, a job fair, 4 exams and more hours than I can count in the last 30 days. 


-My role as a mom: spending sweet, sweet moments with my girl is so important to me. One example of a sweet moment was seeing her say "bye bye" to her big poop this morning. I wish I had a selfie stick to document every single moment.

The best kisses come from my daughter!

-Visitors: we are a popular house! We are thankful that there are so many people that want to stay/spend time with us. Just recently, we had two friends from the Netherlands who stayed with us for five nights. 

Our Dutch 'Hutspot' Dinner prepared by our guests!

-Exercising: hubby and I are committed to getting into shape. Not only to feel good, but to be physically stronger. We've been doing this pretty consistently since February and the results are showing! I was able to get back into my pre-wedding and pre-baby (YES!) jeans.


-Reading and writing other stuff: good news - the end is near for a book that I've been working for the past 10 months with fellow Catholic mom-bloggers. It's called Love Rebel: Reclaiming Motherhood. More stuff on that when it comes out!

The Cover of Love Rebel! Coming soon to Amazon :)

-Keeping a house in order: Most moms understand where I'm coming from, I think. According to my husband, I'm anal when it comes to housekeeping. A minimum of three hours of my week is spent tidying up/cleaning/vacuuming. Not counting grocery shopping, trying to plan half-decent weekly meals and successfully executing the meals (don't worry - I've had many disasters!).

In the midst of the busyness, there have been moments where I long to dive into research projects. I find it fascinating. My hubby is well aware of this, and he's been amazingly awesome helping me through the process. In case you're not up to speed, last year in July I posted an announcement that I was planning to return to work. Well, 10 months later, the search for the 'right job' continues (groan: I sound like a girl looking for Mr. Right - but... that can be a good thing, eh?).


It's been tough. Frustratingly tough. I've been told to stop thinking "what if", and start thinking "what will".  Easier said than done, but thinking in the "what will's" frame of reference is like telling myself I'm going to be an Olympian. It's a lot of hard work - especially where self confidence is concerned, but not impossible.


God definitely has a different plan for me than I have for myself at the moment.  Perhaps He wants me to focus more on Rachel's early education (and boy what a character she is: she loves to count, has her stubborn streaks, and loves giving herself time outs). Maybe God wants me to focus more on Him during this time. All I can really do right now is to let things be as they are and let the pieces fall in place on their own.

The 3,000 piece puzzle that hubby and I did pre-baby: countless hours and lots of patience went into this! (Plus lots of laughs)

All I can really say is that I'm doing my best as a mom, in addition to being a wife and daughter. So with that being said, happy mothers day to me! :) (and all moms should say that to themselves.)

Please don't turn your back on me

Please don't turn your back on me.

No - I'm not indicating rejection (although, that could be construed as an innocent mistake...)

I'm talking about when you're talking to me, or to anyone who has a hearing loss. The last thing you want to do is turn their back on them.

I'm not referring to the notion giving up.
I'm not saying that we're being difficult.
I'm saying that we just can't understand what you're saying.


Most hard of hearing (HOH) people would agree with me on this point.  The seven most echoed words running through a HOH's head are:

Please don't turn your back on me.

Emma's Hearing Journey - Part Two

Last week, Emma’s Hearing Journey – Part1 was released. Today’s article follows up with Lisa’s struggle with the Canadian health system, getting hearing aids, facing a new reality and optimistic advice for parents with hard of hearing children.

 

That smiles says it all

Photo Credit: Shayna Kerrie Photography (shaynakerriephotography.com)

Overall, my experience with the Canadian health system has been wonderful, but it was frustrating to learn that the ENT we had been referred to at BC Children’s Hospital had a 12 month wait list!   Emma was in Kindergarten and I felt it was pivotal that we sort this out immediately so she would not miss out on important learning or be at a disadvantage in any way.   I asked around and, much to my relief, found a wonderful paediatric ENT who had only a 6 week wait.   Sometimes parents need to be strong advocates for their children, and I am not one to wait quietly in the background where my child is concerned.  We could have still been waiting for another 8 months, had I not done some of my own research and asked for referrals in mom groups on Facebook.

Emma's Hearing Journey - Part One

Lisa and I actually met through our husbands. Believe it or not, we’ve only met four times in the last seven years. Seriously. It is only thanks to Facebook and Christmas cards that we’re still in each other’s lives.

She is a mom-extraordinaire, who once claimed to fame for having 4 children under the age of 4.

She is an entrepreneur, working out of her home and creating luxury items for Mom and Baby – such as custom made burp cloths and nursing covers through her company, Made Just for You by Lisa.

She is an avid runner, completing more half-marathons than I’d like to attempt in my life.

She is now a mom to a hard of hearing daughter.

I'll huff and bluff and huff...

If you've ever seen the movie Life is Beautiful/La vita e Bella, you'll know that the main character basically bluffs his way through a Nazi Concentration Camp. Back in high school when the movie came out (yes, that was a while ago!) I found myself relating to the movie on so many levels.

Photo Credit: www.rogerebert.com

First, it showed me that while the world seems big, bad and scary, we too can make our own sunshine amidst the darkness. Even if it means bluffing your way through tough times.

My Lipreading Toddler

When I see my daughter looking at me when I speak, I see myself. No, I'm not talking about her physical appearance. I'm talking about her looking at me. Confusing? Read on.

Lookalikes!

They say that the eyes speak into the soul of a person. In this case, I caught her lipreading me. Lipreading. Oh my. Is that what I look like when I'm lipreading others? If so - I had no idea I looked like I was in deep thought! Then again, I am using up an enormous amount of energy just to understand what's being said.

The Sisterhood of Mommyhood

My little girl, Rachel, already has two boyfriends.

Haha. Yup. I'm not kidding! (I'll get to that in a minute...)

As a hard of hearing mommy, there are certain struggles that not every mommy can understand - however, I've been exceedingly fortunate to have met two other mothers in Victoria who are not only understanding, but have been a source of support from time to time.

The funny thing is, we wouldn't have met if it weren't for our prenatal class at Mothering Touch! Being newcomers to Victoria meant that I didn't know many people here, and at the time, becoming a new mom felt like I was about to hit a big block of isolation - my social life wouldn't be the same, my time would be occupied with all things baby, and it would be harder to go out to meet new people.

The Spider Meltdown - How HOHs have an intense conversation without making sound

For those that don't personally know me, I am an arachnophobic. While losing more hearing or my baby girl are listed among my fears, the S thing really gives me the heebie jeebies.

Yes. 

The S word scares me. Even the thought of seeing one (dead or alive) or the sensation of one crawling on my skin leaves me absolutely petrified. I shall refer to it as "the thing".

My face as I imagine it probably looks like when it sees "the thing"!

Well, a few nights ago I had meltdown that occurred at 10:15pm. Just as my husband and I were retiring to bed, I discovered a HUGE thing (according to Curtis, the thing was medium sized). Nevertheless, it was bigger than I'd like it to be. Fortunately Curtis killed the thing for me, and unfortunately for me, he disposed the remains of the thing in the garbage bin. The garbage bin is RIGHT beside the toilet and I just CANNOT go to bed knowing that there's a thing in my house that hasn't been flushed. 

Anchors Aweigh! Our Cruise...

Happy New Year! (A little bit late, I admit. We have been stricken with coughs, colds and fevers in this household...)

Over our Christmas break, we took a 2-week Exotic Southern Caribbean cruise aboard Celebrity's Eclipse ship. What fun we had, though there were some interesting moments. First, we ate far too much for our own good, eating more than the recommended three meals a day; dinnertime was always a three course meal, and that didn't even stop me from going up to the 24 hr buffet to get a late night snack! Suffice to say, my body isn't quite so medium sized anymore (hello New Year's resolution! LOSE SOME WEIGHT).

Celebrity Eclipse! (From Celebrity's Website)