Ambition

Before Rachel's arrival, I was working for the Provincial Government. The pay was excellent, the job was great (although there were times when I wanted to pull my hair out), and the people were relatively easy to work with. I was about 10 weeks pregnant when my contract expired - at that point I had two options,
a) look for another job, but have to tell prospective employers that I'd have to go on maternity leave literally as soon as I started (the job hunting process can take a while, especially when there's a hiring freeze going on!), or b) go on Employment Insurance and maternity leave a little bit earlier than planned. You probably guessed it by now that I went with option b. Option b, from my perspective allowed me to enjoy pregnancy, as well as move into our new home. It was tough not to work for those few months leading up to Rachel's birth, but looking back, I think it was personally worth it (in between the nausea and numerous midwife appointments). 

37 Weeks Pregnant. Oh how I didn't want to be pregnant at this point!!! (Rachel came at 42 weeks - longest 5 weeks of my life!)

Just a few days ago, I decided to get my butt into gear and start looking for work again. The hiring freeze is apparently still on in the government (but not as stringent as it was before), so I'm keeping my eyes open. Full-time work isn't really an option for me right now, as Rachel is still little and I'd like to be around for her formative years. The best compromise would be to do part-time instead, as I do have my Masters degree and want to put it to use (plus, it would be a good idea since we hope that Rachel will pursue post-secondary education... so why not have mommy be a role model for her there?). 

A proud day - my Masters Convocation Ceremony, October 6, 2011

Having a hearing loss and looking for a job is no easy task. In my case, talking on the phone is a real challenge. I can have very basic conversations, but anything more than that, I'm like a little squirrel that doesn't know where to go next. Not being able to use the phone is an obstacle for many hard of hearing people (HOHs, as I like to call them) when looking for employment. Sometimes I wish we lived in a world where we didn't have telephones (ha!) and relied solely on the written word through emails, text messaging, etc etc. How much more literate would this world be if communication were only expressed through our abc's! Anyway, the reality is - I have to be on the looking out for a part-time job, where limited to no telephone usage is required, AND where my Criminology degree is applicable. Sigh. Feels like I'm about to climb Mount Everest. Pray that I find something that is meant for me. I'm not in it for the money (although that's a nice bonus), but I'd like intellectual stimulation - even if it's just for a few hours a day. Talking to Rachel can be exhausting, as I don't understand babble.

In Switzerland, at Mt. Eggishorn - exhausting trek, but well worth it :)

Truthfully, I have ambition burning inside of me. Ambition to have a career, have a family, basically have it all. Though I do realize that there's a line to be drawn. No one can really have it ALL. However I'll say this: there's nothing wrong with trying to do more. I believe God put me on this earth with my hearing loss and sending me my little Angel Rachel to make an impact on other people's lives. It might be big, or it might be small. That's just fine with me. I do feel a vocational calling to be both mommy and career 'ist' (in case you don't know, making up words is a gift I possess). 

Will keep you all posted on the job hunt - not in any rush, I'd rather find something that suits my interests, my family, and my hearing loss. You'd be surprised as to how many jobs out there aren't suitable for those with hearing loss...